how the freak do you code a blog

I've been feeling very frustrated recently. i've spent hours staring at the website I made and in particular, this blog page, but i feel nothing. it seems so plain compared to the other pages i coded... so devoid of any personality :(... i really want to make one of those 2000s tmblr style blogs where you can scroll and look at tags... and do the littke "read more" thing... and update your status... like those pear phone microblogs you saw on victorious...

but for some reason... i don't know where to start!!! there's barely any resources for that layout and i'd feel very unfulfilled if i used a template :(

i really want to ask the neocities community for support, BUT I CANT EVEN DO THAT because i have to wait TWO WHOLE DAYS before i can actually coment on other peoples profiles.

i could code everything else on my site but i just cant bring myself to code the propper blog of my dreams no matter how much i want to beacause its just so daunting... AND IT KILLS MEEE TT

i'll try my best to revamp this page next weekend if i'm feeling better because all ive been doing these past 5 days is coding + i literally skipped a day of school to work on this site

TLDR; neocities should stop being a party pooper and let me talk to the community :/

14/09/25

I'd rather do anything but study

I hate studying.

not because I'm not capable of acheiving really good marks, but because i have a tendency to self sabotage my own performance. lately, the coursework at my school seems to have changed drastically in terms of how they're marked and critiqued by teachers. an essay which i wouldv'e otherwise passed with flying colours suddenly turned impossible to do well in. subjects that i enjoyed became difficult to attend etc etc. going to school became, to put it lightly, a drag.

it's like all i want to do is draw my silly art and create things that actually make me happy. granted the reward would be minimal, but at least i'm not being completely weighed down by the expectations of others.

that's another thing. school exhausts every ounce of creativity that you may have and crushes it right in front of your very eyes. i swear everytime i try to self soothe my utter loeathing for PE theory by drawing ONE MEASLY doodle in my notebook, i can feel the targeted stare of my teacher who then follows that up with a "concentrate please." LIKE, YOU THINK I CONSIDER PE THEORY USEFUL?? maybe for the people who are taking it next year but CERTAINLY not for me. girly do NAWT play with me you know I'm dropping that shit ASAP.

also- why is it that teachers are only now becoming increasingly annoying?!? at the begining if the school year i was so happy with who was teaching the majority of my classes but now they all regressed for some reason. i can only begin to imagine how insufferable they're gonna get next year when school actually gets serious.

anyway- i've realised i've gone completly off topic. yearly exams are right around the corner and i've been having trouble getting myself to sit down and do study because i'm very good at procrastinating and coming up with excuses for myself. its also a matter of me having these really big ambitions and not knowing how to tackle them all or where to start. i've never really had to study because i always settled and grew complacent with my marks but that's just not going to cut it in senior years.

at least we get to choose what we're studying for next year tho :) as for me, i chose japanese continuers (im pretty fluent so studying should be easy), maths advanced, maths extension 1 (oof), economics (double oof), english advanced, religion 1 (cumplosurary for catholic schools) and modern history.

i've deduced that studying for them should be pretty acheiveable but just to be safe, i enroled in tutoring to get a head start :) that way, i can actually be sure that i'm studying properly instead of being left to my own procrastination prone devices.

TLDR; i need to lock tf in

17/09/25

nothing to see here yet...

00 month year